Myriam – independence a foreign state

A life without her dignity,
Without expression of her own unique identity,
Independence a foreign state

For forty years she had endured

For this had been her constant state

Subjugation her present fate

A life without

A life without her dignity

Without expression of her own unique identity

Independence a foreign state

Voice stolen

Half living

Transparent

Flickering in the shadows

A life without a cause

With a history steeped in years of indoctrinating tradition

Conditioned to merely obey

The role of a woman

Of duty.

At home.

To stay.

There is no end to her husband’s torment

Her lord and master’s shrieking from his majestic throne

And it is from his threadbare and decrepit armchair

One imbued it seems with mystic properties

Symbolic

Emanating dread and fear

For there — the alpha dog sits

Basking

Preening

With all his arrogance on show.

And so her treatment continues

Oblivious of what’s right

An unequivocal dismissal

Made worse by an unfailing maniacal suspicion

An underlying contempt

Of someone that is not equal

A culture past, that expected submission

A constant demand to justify her inferior position

Ignoring the world outside

One that has moved on

Grasping to a past

A made up fantasy

Conjured

A fictitious memory

Unaware.

She shakes her head in sorrow and grief

And heavily she sobs

She shudders

Hands taunt in supplication

Reaching upwards

Following a path repeated a hundred times before

Pleading to the heavens for answers

“Why has this been my fate?”

And then a thought

Unbidden… enters…

And does not leave.

“No. No more.”

For now her daughter has fully grown

Safely, forging her own path

Free to explore

Able to make mistakes and missteps her own

Leaving our forlorn protagonist so full of pride

But also so so achingly alone.

Alone to face her nightmares

One that lasts from dawn to dusk

Every waking hour brings acknowledgement

Oppression

A way of life

Repeating endlessly

Unrelentingly

No escape.

“No. No more.”

Emboldened by her meek displays

Again he asserts

Again, a refusal of any permission

To simply allow her to wander outdoors alone

“A woman’s place is at home!”

But inside, coalesces a thought

Getting stronger and more certain.

“No. No more!”

A chasm to cross in darkness

One that she had to take alone

Summoning up reserves of strength

That she did not ever know

To renounce her life with her tormentor

To leave her family home

And all her worldly possessions

And their memories of a lifetime ago

To a cold and foreign Australian court

For a simple piece of paper

A stamped piece of officialdom

To file for her divorce.

“Yes. No more.”

So hurriedly with bags packed and nowhere else to go

To her daughter’s did she flee

Her life now perched in limbo

Dependent on a son-in-law indifferent to her cause

An impatience plain to see

Mark his face with troubled countenance

For her untimely imposition

That’s upset the tranquility of her new sanctuary

His home

“How long will your mother be here?” he whispers

“I understand, but I never did agree.”

“I know she is your mother…”

“This long? Really?”

“I have reasonable limits on my charity!”

But even away from home she felt constrained

For her journey was not yet complete

For in the eyes of her religion

She was not yet free

Her angry, ex-husband could justify

That he could lay claim on her

That it was his right

That sanctioned abuse could continue

For in his eyes he still owned her

To do so as he desired.

“But no. No more.”

The next step was the hardest

A painstaking and disagreeable process

That incredulously caused more terror

By putting her in a room again with her tyrant

Treated as a third party

An object for those far brighter

Who knew better

To seal her destiny

And though she nearly did break

Give up

Acquiesce

Subdued

Somehow, somehow

Her quiet voice

Remained firm

Did carry

And her case was finally made

Though it took twelve months for the Imans to grudgingly agree

What was painfully obvious for all to see

That there was no room for reconciliation

Love and duty no more than a fallacy

That the intervention order was real

That finally in God’s eye

She. was. free.

Surviving now on an old aged pension

Scrimping and scraping at the edges of modern society

She cannot afford modest housing

A future uncertain has she.

But it is a life that is now oh so different

At TAFE she helps in English language classes

To help others who face the same perilous journey

To help provide safe passage

To be their shining beacon

Against a darkening landscape

That threatens to stop the faint hearted

From withdrawing from their future

To succumbing

To their perilous fate.

This wonderful woman of the ages

Has found an inner peace

Though fate has made her journey long and arduous

That finally she feels so unfettered

That finally she feels so free.

Oh! Our heroine!

Our inspiration!

Oh gaze upon her now

Our beautiful, independent woman

For her voice has finally been found

As laughter lines now crease her aged face.

As she shares delightful, playful stories with her friends

To break bread

To live what is left of life to its fullest

To battle for her causes

To stand proud and with dignity

And now with her own identity restored

It is time perhaps

For her

To give a little nudge

To what will be her fate.

Ivy – a domestic violence survivor’s story

An angry fella. His face full of red rage. Full of hate.

An angry fella

His face full of red rage

Full of hate

His rancid, putrid breath

Stinking of cheap whiskey

His rotten, decayed teeth

On full display

His brain shut off

To rhyme or reason

His visceral thoughts

A myopic focus.

Staggering forward in false bravado

He’d pick up his well worn bat

Caressing it’s end in theatrical play

His old trusted friend

His old acquaintance firmly at hand

In prelude

And for devastating effect

He would smile

His all-knowing smile

And with eyes full of malice

Slurring incoherently

“Smash your fucking face”.

Then tensing at his fullest

He would swing that bat

With all his might

In violence, in vengeful hate

The reward for some small slight

That made him remember

Who he was

Insignificant

A pitiful man

Exercising his daemons

His self-loathing

And his terrible ritual would continue

Repeatedly

Now a muscle memory

He would slap her bloodied face

Again and again.

And if she did not fall, or cried or moaned or whimpered

Or if she did not cower or crawl away

Or if she did show the fear

Or respect his twisted brain craved

As close to adulation as he came

If she did not do it

His way

If he did not see it

His way

“That bitch”

He would kick her for the justice

He demanded

His way.

And as she laid down in her own blood

And as she laid down in pain

While that pathetic bastard had

His way.

In silence

In her shame…

To take his own anguish away

That angry man

That coward

That wife beater

All the while

Our survivor would pray

Her tears would mix with her blood

Pooling again

On that oh so stained floor

Which had seen this play

Play out this encore

Pooling

Indistinguishable.

This time though enough was enough

Inside her a barrier

Taunt from years of abuse

Beyond breaking point

Finally snapped

Shattering Into a thousand pieces

And she saw the universal truth

One she had tried so hard

To put aside

To ignore

This dangerous game

He would not stop

Or change

For this was his way

Why he had sought her out in the first place.

For nine times she had left him

And nine times she had returned

Nine incomprehensible times

To us

But not to her

The denier of history

To replicate

Her fate.

This time though

With new resolve

She reached an escape velocity

An escape trajectory

Escape

This time she would break free of her shackles

He would not bind her

This time she would not come back

This time

He would not own her

This time

She would be the master

Of her destiny.

So this time she fled

She ran away

Far from her land

Away from her people

Away from her shame

Alone, she would have to start again.

The best years of her life behind her.

To fight for existence

To battle her own demons

To fan her own faltering flame

A future yet uncertain

A life of continuous subsistence

But a life that was free.

But a life full of unknowing

Ill prepared

Not required you see

In ignorance of the economy

Now with white fella’s cards

To dig in their claws

To abuse

To misuse

A new ritual

To bash her another way.

For the cycle continues

Despite all our good intentions.

Background

One of series of stories that were inspired by workshops around financial inclusion I helped organise and run for the Salvos in Australia in Nov 2018 while working for Deloitte’s.

We collaborated with the Salvos, on our national charity day, looking at how to resolve issues related to the stigma and access to Salvos financial services across the five personas, each with complex issues. In this case it was of an individual who was also facing domestic violence.

I’m a bit of a newbie at Unity but I’ve given a go using it for animation, using Mixamo for the character creation and Adobe tools to try to bring these stories to life. I’ve updated the Unity 3D animation with improved models and lighting effects. It’s a step up with what I was able to do with Unity before but I have so much more than I can do!

Poems and videos by Vinod Ralh. 2018. All rights reserved.

Illustrations in video by Jean-Baptiste Vincent. 2018. All rights reserved.
Music in video Life Is by Scott Buckley - www.scottbuckley.com.au

Photos modified from Unsplash.com

Why

Real life peeks through, with its creaks, its cracks and crevices.
The ugly but plain truth casts its shadow on our green plains

Be the difference

I was asked why I had been focusing on participating in workshops, hackathons and initiatives with a focus on social impact . I thought about it for a while and this poem expresses why technologists participation can potentially make a significant impact on societal issues and cut through traditional, risk adverse and often manually intensive current practices.

The fantastic illustrations here are by my son Ben. In the video I also have amazing illustrations by my colleague Jean-Baptiste Vincent.

A beloved father

Eyes so wild

Manic

Screaming at the world

His family slowly disintegrating around him

Helplessly, watching on.

A young daughter

Her innocence lost

Clutching her beloved teddy

Stares vacantly ahead

As her uncle closes her bedroom door.

 

A teenage boy

Family a distant memory

Inhaling and numbing his mind

Vanquishing thoughts of the tricks he’s performing.

An elderly lady

Deep lines etch her face

Teeth rotten

Blackened

Swollen feet her grace

Preferring the safety of the streets to the danger of a shared home.

A woman

Toils with years of emotional and physical abuse

Incessantly beaten

To breaking point

Calls the police

Again

To just make him stop

Charged for wasting police time.

A teenage girl

A bright and beautiful future ahead

Drowning in dread

She sees no other way

She steps into the abyss.

An old, pitiful man

Slowly shuffling on the streets

Confused and afraid

His mind slowly

Whittled away.

The hopelessness of the refugee

Feared for colour and religion

His qualifications not recognised

Loosing not just a home

But his essence

His meaning and his pride.

The middle-aged man sits at home

Solitude for company

And In that silence he is alone

So

Deafeningly

Alone.

The carer

A parent, sibling or child

Driven by love and duty

Makes the ultimate sacrifice

Their life not their own

Here – Oh Dot – in our pristine towers

We lead such safe and privileged lives

Our endless selfies showcasing our beautiful lies with our beaming, megawatt smiles

Our burning question no more inconsequential that our order

“Earl Grey. Soy on the side”.

But occasionally…

Oh so occasionally…

Real life peeks through, with its creaks, its cracks and crevices

The ugly but plain truth casts its shadow on our green plains

We join the unwashed masses

Gravity holds sway

Our feet touch the ground

We smell our fear

Our faces crease in uncertainty

We pause…

We have to turn away from our PowerPoint

We remove our hands from the keyboard and coding is stopped for the day.

Can we as technologists do more?

Can we in our youth focus our energies and passion?

Can we open our eyes to the world around us?

To the injustice that surrounds us?

To take some time out and do battle for a worthwhile cause?

Can we bring meaning?

Can we make an impact?

A social impact and make our lives matter more?

Last year, we gathered on several occasions

Our zealous zeal unbounded

In smalls teams to tackle a cause

We used hackathons to focus

To learn. To think. To try. To feed the soul.

It is an imperfect system

But if we can start to look beyond our iPhone’s camera lens

At a younger age, to really see beyond our field of view

To see what’s authentic and what’s fake

To refuse to let destiny become reality.

The fusion of technology, creativity and humanity

Where everything is possible

Not baulking, but applying to where there is the greatest need

Can technology transform society?

Can we serve people more?

That would be a sight to see.

Join me

Or don’t join me

Just take stock

Just think beyond your safe and pretty life

Apply that brain

That passion

Those ideas

Bring change

Breathe Change

Make change

Be the difference.

Oh my beloved father

My daughter

My son

My wife

My mother

My sister

My friend

My grandfather

A stranger.

One day, you will fear no more.

© Vinod Ralh 2019